24TH NOVEMBER 2024: DAY 44 JOURNAL

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 Hey, 

So, Today was a productive day as well. Although I woke up Late today. I woke up at 5 AM. I woke up anxious. I don't know why. Maybe I saw a bad dream or what, But I woke up super-anxious. This has happened to me earlier as well. Earlier, when this happened, I did not know what to do, I was panicking and I told my grandparents and they, being unaware of these situations panicked and started lecturing me on yoga and health benefits. 

But this time I was ready. I knew that accepting it is the only way. I could not stop it. Anxiety is dangerous because you lose control on yourself. You feel like you can no longer control your thoughts, and you start fearing random things. 

So, I meditated. I took a resolve that even if I had to sit for 1 hour straight, I would not open my eyes until I will feel better. I started Vipassana. And within 5 minutes, I was enjoying my breath again, I was again in thoughtless state, which is my usual state. Now, I was ready to start the day. 

Why I felt necessary to put it in words, is to make people aware that Mental health has become more stigma with false awareness. People have tabooed it more after being aware about it. There should be no taboo. Be clear about it. It is your mind and your brain. Take charge, Take agency. Agency is never lost when you do not give up on it. There are times when giving up is the best thing you can do but mostly you don't have to. Learn intelligently how to take charge of what you think and what you do not, and you are sorted. As Buddha would say, एस धम्मो सनंतनो 


Or this is the eternal law. Then, I made myself a coffee as always. Sat down to study. Since I had no class today. So, Took a resolve to complete things today. So, Started with Lecture 16 and 17 of Thermal Physics and finished it by 8 AM. 

Then, Started with Geomorphology. Completed it finally. Now, I have mains ready notes of this at least. 

Then I went to revise quantum mechanics. My YouTube streak is pending. I had to make active recall videos. I might start them from today. But, anyhow, I revised Quantum mechanics completely. 

Then, I felt like not studying so I fooled around a bit. Thought about things. Some interesting things which I do have here space and time here to develop, some time later.

Then, took my meals, sprouts, chickpea, dry fruits. Then Lunch. 

My scoop of protein. 

Then, favorite part of the day. "GYM"

Today was my favorite workout day also, Legs. We did it. Wonderful. 

We danced in between sets. had a lot of fun. Joked around about women and girls. I sort of taught my juniors, not to call their female classmates as randi or prostitute. 

What to do? you cannot get best of both worlds. This gym friends that I have, these are not intellectuals. These are not intelligent people. and with Intelligence comes a little sensibility of right and wrong. These are literally teenage idiots, adolescent testosorene producing guys who do not have a sensible world view. 

Hope, they turn out sensible over time. 

Rest, I came back from gym. In between, I saw some people celebrating since their Party has won elections here. I literally could not care less. Not that I do not have an interest in Politics. But this kind of politics, no chance. 

Then, I bought Swiss roll for myself for my birthday, and I ate it all. 😅I could not share it with family since it had eggs. 

But My uncle said they will order a cake tomorrow. Damn! I did not expect that. Thanks a lot to my uncle. 

In fact, now that my birthday is tomorrow, I am felt with gratitude. I really feel blessed to have everything I have and even blessed that I do not have somethings since the problems that come attached with those things, I am away from them. 

Thanks a lot lord, Bhagwan, for this life. I am blessed that I have it. With all sufferings and with all pleasures, I accept this gift of yours to me. Thanks God. 

Rest, I have planned a busy day for my birthday. I might even not meet my friends. I am currently in a very comfortable space right now. Mentally very healthy, emotionally fit, physically rocking. I would like to surround myself with people who increase that. So, May be a quiet working day with no meeting with friends will do.


Also, I have meals planned for tomorrow. My favorite dishes for tomorrow. Man! I love it. 


Rest, Adios! 

I will start working now. Bye




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