DAAJI: MY SUBALTERN GRANDFATHER

 "Probably he is never going to read this, and I think it is better he doesn't."

The earliest memories of mine with my grandfather are me, eating with him in his Thali. He used to put rice in one side of the plate, and I used to eat with him. We used to chant "Bhojan mantra", a hymn that is meant to be recited in Hindu families before eating. Recently, I noticed that however I have stopped doing the Bhojan mantra, but I continue to eat food by putting it at the same corner of the plate. This is the extent of the effect of my grandfather, Daaji, as I call him even now. 

Second memory is me, walking with my grandfather to bring vegetables for home and asking him what he thinks about Gandhiji, or Subhash Chandra Bose, or some other freedom fighter of the country. it is quite interesting that my later interests in life have been dictated by my early childhood memories. 

He used to play cricket with me when I was a kid. Underarm bowling, and I used to hit six with my plastic bat. 

One of the things, my grandfather said to me, was what his father told him on his deathbed. "Apne Thaga Jaiha Babu, Lekin kabhi kekro Thage ke koshish mat kariha!" or "It is better to get be fooled by someone than to attempt to befool someone. The rationale behind such a statement is religious as we understand in our Family. 

We come from a Ramanujacharya Sampradaya Brahmins which asserts absolute devotion and Bhakti to the one Ishwar to attain salvation. The rationale was, since the one is always watching you, stupidity is not a crime in eyes of God, Cunningness is. Evil intentions are already a crime. So, did follow My grandfather all his life. 

Earliest memories of mine, is a sub-conscious listening to him chanting at 3-4 AM in the morning, 

कामिहि नारि पिआरि जिमि लोभिहि प्रिय जिमि दाम।
तिमि रघुनाथ निरंतर प्रिय लागहु मोहि राम! 

Or, like a lusty man, falls for women, like a greedy man falls for Money, Likewise, O Raghunath, make me fall for you!

In years to come, this passion towards religion became my guiding light to life in General. The only way to live life is through living a life of passion and commitment to your meaning, God, or otherwise. 

My Grandfather was a sub-altern. His voice was rendered mute because from an early age, he fell in hands of A fascist Ideology of RSS. He follows it to the Heart. He doesn't realize how cancerous it is, probably he will never realize it now. 

My Grandfather made his path amid darkness. A village where nobody was educated more than 10th standard. His Elder brother dropped out of school after 10th class, He kept going and He completed his diploma in Electrical engineering and hence was able to give us a very good starting point. 

The stories of him inspires me every now and then. It will keep me inspired till the end of my life. In times of extreme sadness, it is his voice that is projected inside me. My early childhood development is highly influenced by his thoughts. Later did I realize, many idols of my Life were just his projective transferences of his image on others. For example: Dr. Salman Akhtar, Albert Einstein etc. 

My emotions are too full of him and his sacrifices. He made me who I am. However, my views of looking at the world will always differ from his, but the ability to dare to see the world differently, is what I learnt from him. 

I will end with an anecdote of fight with him that I had. I was probably 8 years old. I told him in anger, "Daaji, Dekhiye, aap jab sahi hote hain toh hum agree karte hain aapse, lekin aap jaan lijiye, har aadmi har time sahi nhi hota hai!", or "Daaji, look, when you are right, you are right! But no man is always right!". 

To which, he replied, "Aadmi galat ho sakta hai, Lekin Dada toh humesha sahi hota hai na!" or A man can be incorrect, but a grandfather is always right, isn't he? 

To which, I further argued with him, but now, I realized, He was right, Grandfathers are always right!