IMAANDARI

 The most underrated practical advice I have ever received from someone was from a stranger man, a Muslim, on my way to home, when I was coming from my 12th School to my hometown. Whole ride it seemed like, he wanted to convince me off any pragmatic nonsense I ever had in my mind regarding honesty. I did not know him. Neither did anyone of the people in the bus listening to him. He was almost a lunatic, shouting at top of his voice. And then he sat beside me, which trembled me a lot. I thought I am in a difficult situation. 

He told me, "Be honest my boy, of course in Jharkhand accent Hindi, this is the best rewarding way to live!" Today when I am fully convinced, like it took me 7 years to verify this that he was saying the truth. 

Honesty is not just a matter of morality. It is a wise business decision. It has benefits which goes beyond just economic benefits but also social benefits and relationship benefits. I think Honest people live happily, they sleep peacefully at night, and more so, they are never insecure. 

Here are some instances in my life, which verified that man's statement, 

1. Honest people are honest as a duty. They do not see this in this way, that what do I have to lose by being honest. They do not consider dishonesty as an option. They take honesty as a spiritual practice. They say, "this is my job! Whatever I get from it is a gift. Be it hardships or otherwise." My whole life has been the so-called wise people of society, including my friends, my seniors and my family members, to not just be blindly honest. To always be calculative. To always make the best possible choice. And what My observation has been, these people who even calculate to speak the truth, are those who are always in fear. These people are actually 90% of the people I have met. These people keep lying and they keep feeling miserable. Their calculated step always comes out to be a miscalculation. And they remain fearful of consequences. And they are mentally suffering, they are also suffering in general. 

Rather, very few people, are as direct as I am now, they say the truth. They put themselves on front. They are like, "Kill me if you wish, but if I am living, I will not be dishonest". This man sleeps well. Because he already has so much grit that consequences of honesty has no effect on him. He is like, bring it on. 

2. Most of my life, I have been an avid Lier. I used to lie, mostly in insecurity. and this I saw, Honest people are seldom insecure. They are the most secure people I have ever seen. In later part of my life, I have got this complement from women, that you are the most secure man that they have seen. This made me realize, yes! Like, even if I have insecurities, when there comes a discussion of insecurities, or when someone tries to push your buttons of insecurity, honest people have honesty in their sub-conscious, that they just open in front of people. They will just say, "See, I am not ok with you saying this, I have been through tough times, and I have suffered in this subject, so this subject is a bit touchy for me". 

This might seem an uncomfortable conversation but that is the beauty of honesty. It gives you courage. You say it, and you do not worry whether he will take it otherwise. Let them, you did your job. It is wonderful. He remains sorted. He is never defensive. He is never judging even if he is judged a lot. What satisfies him perpetually? His spiritual practice of honesty. 

3. Most people, including me, do politics in their daily life. They behave politically with friends, family and even with their partners. This need to be strategically political stems from the fact that somehow in the heart of everyone is a selfish need of extracting pleasure from someone, either through sex, material or even company. This need is dishonest in the core. When you want some benefit from someone, you become dishonest. By any means you want it. But honest men have limited needs. Just because they are honest and so hell bent in doing their duty of honesty, they say, why to wish for things that can only be bought through dishonesty. 

They might say, "I will not touch that pleasure with a stick which comes from dishonesty." 

And these are people who are most sorted, politics free, and good hearted who have no difference in their speech, action and thoughts. 

What do you think I did afterwards? I have decided, "If success can come only through a pragmatism which takes away my honesty, I do not want it." I will beg and eat but will never cheat. 

And if you have this much grit that you can declare this, it is sure that the world will not let you die or beg. You will have integrity, such that you will achieve big things. Honest people do not have problems that dishonest people do. 

This is the philosophy I like to live. A philosophy of strength, inner strength and confidence. Imaandari as I call it, is my Armour and my sword in the Yuddha of life. 

"Do not pity the honest, Pity the dishonest, and above all, Pity those, who keep dishonesty even as an option in their decision-making."