YOUR MINDSPACE RIGHT NOW
YOU LOST THIS
Hey, how you guys doing?
Yesterday, I went on a walk with my friends and again a session of brainstorming and discussion happened. I am mentioning this because it is related to our discussion here.
Again, a futile attempt to try to teach Our Friend Abhishek what is Spirituality. I and My friend Nitesh tried it. I am not sure if Nitesh knew what he was talking. Abhishek of course, did not know. You know, my heart felt so heavy after I heard them talk about that.
When Nitesh talked about his experiences while teaching and it is "Spiritual" for him. And then Abhishek questioned him and created a material angle to it. That if there was no monetary angle, there would not have been any spiritual experience in teaching for him.
Now, please try to understand my situation. I feel so much weird. I do not know who to explain what. Let me give an example to explain my situation to you. Suppose we are three Lunatics in the Mental Asylum of Agra. One day, by chance, I escaped from the Mental hospital and somehow ended up at Taj Mahal. I saw the taj Mahal and returned back to the Asylum.
Now, the rest of the two Lunatics are talking about Taj Mahal. One of the guys is telling, "Taj Mahal is this big Tree situated in Agra, from which we extract tea leaves and make Taj Mahal brand tea, Taj mahal tree is so beautiful."
While the other critiques him saying, "Taj Mahal tree is beautiful because there is a material angle to it. If we could not extract tea leaves from it, there would have been no angle of beauty in it!"
Now, the Third Lunatic, me of course, is so confused. Because he saw a Building, a palace. How should he say to his friend Lunatics, that Taj mahal is not a tree. and we do not extract anything from it.
This is the dilemma I faced yesterday. I resolved the dilemma by keeping quiet and letting them debate. Actually, every guy who has attained any spiritual growth has to withdraw himself from these public discourses. Because they know not what they are taking about. Spirituality is not a logical discipline. Sometimes it does make sense, but mostly it is an empirical discipline. Close your eyes and find out. The problem is they do not see it.
They do not see it that only non-action, only non-thought is the way. Any kind of hormonal stimulation, through any activity, through anything else cannot work. Even meditation cannot work if the motive of meditation is to stimulate hormones.
I feel guilty. I feel it is my inadequacy. I feel like I am not uplifted enough so that my presence feels like meditation to my friends. I wonder, cannot they see my eyes? Cannot they see my serenity? Cannot they feel my presence wishing them "No-thoughts". Cannot my presence, my tranquility convinces them that I have attained something much more important than anyone will attain ever in their lives. May be this growth is not convincing enough. I do not blame my eloquence for being able to give to my friends what I have. I blame myself. "Kaash! mai kuch aur ho chuka hota, mere doston ko bhi wo anand milta, jo mera swabhav ho chuka hai, Mai buddha nhi ho saka!". Duniya ka sabse bada dukh, Osho sach kehte hain, Wo hai, ki aapke pass jo hai, aap usko baant na sako!".
Protagoras, the pre-Socratic philosopher said, "Man is the measure of all things". Actually, Man tries to measure all things from his reference. He cannot help but do that. So, for him, Spirituality remains an esoteric experience, which he never is logically convinced of. He never understands that merely sitting quiet, closed eyes for hours, can do some miracle, which no music can do, no action can bring, no medicine can offer.
Also, I think, I am not that worried about Abhishek. Abhishek will have to take more births to realize this. Centuries will question him, Vibhat passed away in your time, why you could not benefit from his being. Hope he prepares a good defense. I think, it will take time for him. Currently, the lust for originality and reason has outgrown the need for existence and peace. Nobody is more aware of his situation than me. The Lust to know more. I have been there. I have suffered a lot. And God knows for how many births.
People of Egyptian ancient spirituality used to say, When you attain spiritual wisdom, your logical mind stops working because of a surprise that it gets, it says, "Oh! my god, the secret of existence was so simple and I rejected it thinking, life cannot be this simple!". This is a sentence, only a lusty man can say, a man who has lust for more ideas, more knowledge. Spirituality is nothing new. It is the intrinsic feature of this existence. It is what it is. Human mind is so naive and cunning at the same time. I laugh, what else can I do.
I laughed yesterday when Abhishek said, "Yahi meditate karta hai tum, thoda sa bhi patience nahi hai tum mein?" I laughed hard so that he could hear what he is talking. Dekhiye na mann kya kya jaal khade karta hai, Kitna convince kar rha hai uska mann usko, ki meditation se kuch nahi hota hai. Jaise koi bhoot sawaar ho uske kandhe par, jo usko bata raha ho, aankh mat band karna kabhi, ye log pagal hai. Meditation faltu cheez hai.
Sorry bhai Abhishek. Mai apne heavy conscience se ye baat bol raha hun. I could not give you what I got. What meditation gave me.
About Nitesh, I am more worried. Because he is someone who is so close yet so far. I see in his urge to tell what he wants to tell. This "want", this inner urge to tell. And His mind is also playing games. His mind has somehow convinced him that his teaching is spiritual. I know he might be reading this. He might think this is another attempt to discard his ways or discard him as a spiritual person, but if he has any idea about spirituality, he knows, we are alone in this universe. Everyone has to reach to the one in their own ways. What will I get by demeaning his ways. What will I get by discarding his ways. Those small ego boosts and days of self-boasting and self-praise are gone. I have suffered a lot, Nitesh, in pursuits of Power, reputation, pleasure and lust. This lust for being called knowledgeable, nobody knows this lunacy more than me. I am in this since 2nd Grade.
I do not want to demean anyone's ways, but Nitesh, your teaching cannot be spiritual. It's really not. How do I know that? Well, it's much more intricate to explain. If only you could just sit, closing your eyes, do vipassana, or for that matter, any meditation, you will know. You will know. And you will yourself come to the conclusion, that it was something else.
When thoughts in your Mindspace start to reduce, a tranquility takes over. It is like being in a trans state. Then you can literally measure the time in which a thought came to you. 2 thoughts per hour, 1 thought per hour. And bam! something miraculous happens in the moment of no thought. Something which no drug can give. I have not taken drugs. I have been drunk once or twice in my college days.
It is a high which stays. You keep on dreaming about it for days. You cannot get over it. The mere thought of "No-thought".
Ab hum kya bolein yaar Nitesh! Dikkat ye hai, ki tum sab jaanta hai. Lekin kuch nahi jaanta hai. Tum tab tak nahi jaan paayega jab tak baithna shuru nahi karega. Meditate karo.
Meri stithi aise gunge ki tarah ho gayi hai, jo samajha nahi paa raha hai, ki uski aankhein dekh kya rahi hain.
Ye sab theoretical bakwaas lagega, dimaag ka bhram lagega. Lagega superstition hai. Bhai, humko bhi toh lagta tha. But experience is the best critique of all cynicism. Karo bhai..,.I am literally in tears writing this. Not because I cannot convince you people, But the tragedy of existence. Some things cannot be shared. This insight, this light that I see, this wonderous, miraculous beginning that I see.
"Hum hi jaante hain kya hum dekhte hain!"
Ab mai thak gaya😅.
Abhi wapas I will sit for half an hour meditating. Now a days, In between my study sessions, I just sit for meditation. Almost in a day, I meditate for 3-4 hours. Some 30 minutes here, some 10 minutes there and so on.
In gym, while doing sets, closed my eyes. and again, starts watching the pain of lifting weights.
While eating, chewing food. Aankhein apne aap band ho jaati hain. And again an observation. The same Drshta.
The same Sakshi bhaav.
People say, this kind of closing eyes is a fraud. Meditation should be part of your work and so on. Mai kya karun inka. Bichare, ek baat se dusre baat ko kaat rahe hain. Daya aati hain inpe. Kisi tarah apne ko convince kar liya hai, ki dhyan nahi karna hai, aankh nahi band karni.
Arey bhai, tum karo toh sahi. Aise karo ki waise. hota kya hai, When you start with closing your eyes for 5 minutes, then it increases. You start liking it. Whatever you do with your mind, the mind replicates. You have practiced thinking for ages. So, your mind keeps on thinking even on its own. So, when you stop thinking. When you practice no-thought, your mind replicates. One day, you will find your mind starts doing meditation even when you are not trying to meditate at all. That day, Meditation started working on its own. Now you can stop sitting for hours meditating. Because now, Your mind and body meditates 24 hours a day.
But dekho tumhare dimaag ka khurafaat. Uss late stage meditation ka use karke tumko abhi aankh nahi band karne de raha hai.
Mai kya karun, mai kya kahun! Shayad yahi niyati hai.
जब नाश मनुज पर छाता है, पहले विवेक मर जाता है
Here is the link for meditation: Vipassana
I will go meditate again. I will keep doing it till the end of my life. I will keep doing it even if it means I die. I do not need anything now. I have my Dhyan. You want it? You can have it. Just close your eyes. Sit. Focus on breath. Start from somewhere. Please don't make excuses. That is all I can say.
If you think, there is any sense in what I am saying. If you think there is anything worth doing, Go meditate.
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