FOR EVERY DROP EXISTS AN OCEAN!

What is there in a drop that the ocean has not? And what is that in the ocean that drop craves? I think the security that the ocean has is something that the drop craves. Drop is in turn free. Ocean is bound in his own existence. 

To quote Waseem Barelvi, Contemporary poet, 

Kya dukh hai, samandar ko bata bhi nahi sakta
Aansoo ki tarah aankh tak aa bhi nahi sakta

It means, the sorrow of the ocean is immense and inexpressible. It cannot even come to the eyes of the sad as a drop of tear. 

The Drop's existence is illusionary. Actually, that is complementary to the property of being free. Freedom in its nature is so free that the thing that is free is also free to not be, to not even exist. The Drop might decide to just one day not be, just vaporize or anything, change forms. 

Standing there at the cliff of a mountain, comes a random thought, what if I just jump and let go. This is a free man's statement. Then he gets scared. Agency kicks back. Insecurity kicks back. The man is now secure but unfree. 

What if someday he jumps, and all his imaginations that he will hit the ground were false. He keeps falling. There is not base. No ground to fall on. Just an empty space to keep falling and falling and falling. How does it feel when you are in air, and you are falling. At that moment, regardless of the future, this loss of agency, this passivity is freedom. 

Freedom is freedom from the false sense of agency of your own self. That is the paradox of agency. For being free, you need to have agency, you should "try" to be free, but freedom is in loss of even your own agency on yourself. 

Often, when we talk of freedom, the catch phrase is, "Freedom to govern ourselves". That is to take your own agency in your own hands. But then comes the responsibility of taking care of this fragile soul, in the dreadful existence of life. This little child is taught a freedom which keeps him bound for the rest of his lives. Oh, this burden of taking care of your being, your life. 

Oh, this man, who was once a child, is taught fear. Fear to protect your life. What is the fear? That death will hurt. And Life does not? 

Why then Gorakh says, "Maro ae Jogi Maro, Maran Hai Meetha!" 

Death, to not be, the ultimate freedom. Majaz writes, 

 “Zindagi Saaz De Rahi Hai Mujhe, 

Sehr-o Aijaz De Rahi Hai Mujhe, 

Aur Bahut Door Aasmanon Se, 

Maut Aawaz De Rahi Hai Mujhe”

Death calls everyone, every second, that you decide to not die, you do not listen to your death. Some people listen. Some people listen only to death. 

Actually, one of the secrets of life is the paradoxical nature of agency and loss of agency. Activity and passivity as we say. 

Existence requires activity. An active man exists more. But, the flavor of existence is in the passivity, where you can feel life in its full force. Be it pain, suffering, pleasure, sadness, glory, sweetness, anything. 

Any work, for starting it, requires activity, agency. You must sit and close your eyes, taking agency, to meditate. But meditation takes you to a place where your agency loses, you lose control, you experience momentary freedom. You read a book, and you start reading it, initially, you find it difficult to focus, but after some initial resistance, you lose yourself in that. Absorbed in it, is a person, who is now just a book reader. His whole personality, existence for that moment is lost in it. You see a pair of eyes, moving side to side, reading word to word and probably what's in between words, spaces. 

Any work, from mundane to mundane, is mundane till the point there is agency left in the doer. The Doer needs agency to start it. But the agency is the fuel that ultimately gets exhausted in the combustion of the workforce, and then is the energy, the heat that the passive can enjoy. 

After a point it seems like, the eyes are doing their job, the brain is doing its job of interpretation, and I am free to just sit and watch. What is happening? the door is reading a book; the writer is writing its blog, and I am looking at the writer of the blog. 

It is like, the fingers are running by itself, the brain gives instructions, I look at myself as I look at someone else doing their job. 

This, I have heard in some people's spiritual memoirs. Kumar Vishwas told this in an interview. This is supposed to be called "Anhad". 

"Had", or boundaries, are what define life. What you can do and what you cannot is decided by your own self. This happens in gym, in front of you, is a 35 kgs dumbbell, ask yourself, can I do dumbbell press with two 35 kgs dumbbell, there will come a voice, no, you cannot. Who is this voice? Do not mistake it to be your own voice. This is the animal in you who wants to keep living. His survival instinct. I am not saying you should do it. I am saying, this is "had". 

When you start pushing your limits, it becomes "behad". behad is the zone where dreams come true, physique is built, people become mature, strong, people become famous. 

Then, a man when he keeps pushing his limits, behad, he continues for so long that there is now no more to push, this is anhad, when the body says, ok we got it. This is what you want to do. Let us do it for you. The mind says, ok this is the only thing you want to think about. Ok, let me do it. 

The whole mind-body structure runs on autopilot. And the pilot, you, can now sit, enjoy, you feel at ease with everything. You do not get tired. The body knows that what it has to do. You are mostly absent from everywhere. You are inside, in your Mindspace, in the tranquility of life. In a way, you are now falling in blank space. and there is no fear that one day I will fall on ground. 

Come back to the drop. You are the drop, It is your destiny to get immersed in the ocean and lose your self. But, the ocean also wishes to be a drop and keep on living. Now, there is nothing to worry about. Keep living as a drop, you are living the ocean's dream. One day, the drop will be able to live the drop's dream.