A MAN OF HABIT [1/n]

Dr. Roy was a man of habit. Meticulous planning was his thing. Taking his time to plan everything by the minute is the way he used to spend the last minutes of his day before going to sleep. It is no surprise that his peers did not like him very much. He was similarly very mechanical in his relationships and his life. To most people, he seemed empty, often clueless about affairs of others life and even at times to his wife. He was an editor in the local daily newspaper. Every day at 5 AM, he will be at the printing office, opening the gates of his own successful firm or newspaper office. He did not like company. He enjoyed his own company was itself a doubt since he did not seem smiling even in his private of times but this claim, even for me, will be an exaggeration since who knows what he did in his most private of times. And I will not even like to bother a man in his privy times, as I believe it is not meditative to rest, yet a certain happiness without commodification is available only at times when a man has some leisure to spend for a while or so. 

I was an intern at Dr. Roy's. Dr. Roy was a tedious man, I knew. Everyone warned me not to join him. I nevertheless joined him. Here, I am mentioning this as an anecdote and may be hoping to carve out of it a story to write. A story of Murder. A murder which is so interesting that it baffles me every time I hear about it. Dr. Roy murdered someone. She was his wife. Why did he murder his own wife? Of course, one day but not the day one, I presumed when I heard this conversation between him and his wife. His wife used to humiliate him daily. Emasculations, taunts about being a petty man, scoldings for not getting things at the grocery right, doing things wrong was the only thing he could be scolded on since, his professional ethics in his personal life helped him doing everything perfectly on time. I met him for the second time when I heard him being scolded. "Oh! Vibhat, come, sit! you should have rung the bell", He came back from his bedroom, telling me to sit. I showed him the drafts of my readings. He did not seem unhappy. Of course, happiness was not what he usually was very expressive of. He corrected me at places in my draft. I took my draft and the corrections and, on my way, home, I stayed at the nearby grocery which was usually where Dr. Roy took his grocery from. He asked me, "and what do you want from this pale, lousy little man in his midlife crisis?" I said, "how does it concern you?" He replied, faking a laugh, usually to indicate condescension, "I do not, I was just asking because I care for this family". How much he cared about them I was very sure of. But I also fake laughed and we fake bonded. I introduced myself. He introduced himself. He is not a man worthy of introduction here. I will do it where I will feel is unavoidable. It is interesting how I feel a connection with my readers even as a character in my story that I do not want you to know some of my characters very well. Why bother knowing about the obnoxious creatures which the earth needs to punish for mere existing. 

I knew in the first meeting with Dr. Roy that perhaps, he is exactly the people I admire. Not open to conversations yet open to talks about work. Work related talks, if turned to life and philosophy, nothing more fruitful and knowledgeable than that. We used to have many a lovely discussion about life and especially Ancient Indian Philosophy which he liked very much. I was also an admirer of Philosophy. In fact, I was very keen about Western philosophy. Sadly, my views about Eastern philosophy were very derogatory due to my influences regarding my favorite philosophers. "Orientalist wisdom" is the term philosophers like Marx and my favorite contemporary philosopher Slavoj Zizek used to refer about Eastern philosophy. Dr. Roy used to be vehemently resentful about this view. He used to say, these western puritans do not understand our wisdom. 

I grasped the chance and asked him, "how about you convince me about your views on philosophy?" "How about that?" he said. "Will you please teach me, Philosophy sir?" He for the first time, seemed very cheerful! His face cheered up. I could see the joy for the first time on the man's face. He seemed happy yet he cautiously said, "but you might get bored and leave me hanging." "No, I will not sir, I will go to any extent to learn it from you". "Even if I might tell you to come to an unusual place for studies?" He asked me. The unusual specificity of the question baffled me. I don't know, May be, I liked the man happy for the first time and also, I wanted to learn, combining the two, I agreed. I did not know I was going to witness something marvelous and most disturbing in my life.