VIOLENT CONFIDENCE: A PSYCHOLOGICAL OBSERVATION

 Recently, I have achieved a successful culmination of a series of observations that I would like to present here. It is about something I like to call Violent confidence. 

Have you ever been fat-shamed? Have you ever been subjected to a comment for being non-usual? If you have, congratulations, you will understand this phenomenon easily. Mostly, we are bound to be confused about life. Life, in a nutshell, is like a novel that we begin to read from the middle. We are born in a particular socio-cultural and economic setup. Our features, from how we speak to how we look, is governed by natural and cultural factors we have mostly no agency over. But, because of the Hegemonic structure of the society with respect to any characteristics, namely, a particular feature, a particular demeanor etc. We feel an obligation and a sort of pressure to be like that. To speak in a particular way, to look in a particular way, etc. '

Violent confidence is a kind of subjective violence, a term coined by Slavoj Zizek, at least I read in his volume on Violence, where once, you get convinced of the fact that you have achieved that beauty standard (the hegemonic value) of society, you display certain kind of confidence which is lethal, which is violent, mostly to your own mental health but also to others. This mental violence is caused by the fact that you have forced into something you actually are not, but you want to be, because that is the standard hegemony. In this process, you perform a ritualistic violence on yourself. This suffering that you did on yourself, when you see people unaware of the quality that you possess, because they do not subscribe to this hegemonic value system, you project a sort of violent display of confidence, through mockery or a laugh or may be a smirk that you did to someone. This shows, mostly that you are mentally unhealthy, you have tortured yourself so much that you now want the otherwise happy people to know this and hence suffer. 

This can be highly internalized way of living where the person preforming this violence might not even acknowledge the fact that he is mentally a violent person. Most people might argue, it is not their problem is someone feels violated because you show confidence. But they will need to understand that it is bad for them only. If the confidence is not coming from a safe place of emotions of your mental space, you are actually under-confident, insecure and petty but you are trying to hide it. You are subjected to the Dunning-Kruger effect equivalent in life where the confidence is just a precursor to a Hugh depression about to come. 

For example: Our society has a hegemonic value system about dumbness and intelligence. People who are intelligent are considered better. Ok, no harm in that. But do you know how much insecure it makes an average child? Some who are average always feel threatened by those who struggled and may be gained a bit intelligence and even they who are intelligent behave like intellectual bullies. Someone pronounced a word wrong and there are grammar nazis correcting them, someone has a rural accent, and you see some smirking faces on her back. What is this? People who do this are mentally sick and they need therapy as soon as possible. In this society where mental violation is recognized, this is something every person must consider. Are we violating someone's self-esteem? Are we reproducing the same mental torture that we did to ourselves? Of course, any progress needs a certain amount of struggle, but why to expect that the other person must recognize our struggle. and last question, are not we are being petty exhibitionists if we are displaying confidence on intellect and features which is less about our own created but is a function of socio-cultural and economic coordinates in society. 

Would you have been this intelligent, if you were from a lower caste? provided that education keenness, is a function of social and economic well-being. People lack empathy. People lack sociological sensibility. People are petty and, in this sense, morally ignorant. People, who do this, we should make them realize that this is indeed a fault of theirs. If we want a mentally healthy society, people should need to take care of behavior standards, what are professional spaces and how to behave there. Not every place is your safe space.