EITHER TRUTH OR SILENCE

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   "If Truth shall kill me, let me die!" 


The real quote is, "If truth shall kill them, let them die." But this is not what a true Adhyatmika, the true Dharmic person would say. This is not what Socrates would say. A true Dharmic man will die for truth. He will take it on him. 
Let me ask you a question, what is more important for you? Truth or family relations? Truth or friendships? Truth or career? Truth or desires? Truth or your best dreams? Moral relativists will try to fog it under personal choice but let me make this clear to you that I am a no nuance guy. At least, not at inappropriate places. The reality is most of us can sell our truths just to save some relations. But ask some person who just understood his true gender identity and now has to fight everybody including his family. He has to confess otherwise he will suffocate that he is gay or bisexual or anything for that matter. This is the case with a dharmic person who is bound by the truth. This truth can be the ultimate one or rather smaller ones based on honest confessions of day-to-day life. The fact remains, it is so valuable that it cannot be sold for some or even any or all relationships. 
People who live a Dharmic life often tend to live alone. His peers leave him, his family thinks he is rude. His friends think he is non-compromising. His society thinks he is lunatic. Every step is a blister. Every moment is a curse for that person. Socrates has to drink poison once for sticking to his truth. He has to drink it daily, every moment. 

 I believe something which Socrates said, "A life unexamined is a life not worth living!" I have examined something in these 23 years of my life. I cannot survive without truth. I cannot live without it even if it costs me my dearest of relations and I have to rot in hell for it. If I have to suffer in tortuous conditions, If I have to burn in darkest of dungeons, If I have to be rotten in lakhs of leeches even then I cannot sell my truth. 
 But why? Why this stubbornness? Why not just keep everyone's heart and just lie. A happy lie let it be. The reason I cannot is because I remember the days of my childhood. The days I lived with my parents. Toxic as they may be, they used to fight all the time. Mistrust, Lies and all of it were involved and I, merely 4-5 used to hide under my bed the whole night many a times sleeping there. I was alone with my horrible horrible truth. The truth that there is no one which you can call truly yours in this world. You are intrinsically alone. Next instance, in schools, till the time I succeeded academically in school, it was I think till 3rd grade, I was alone. Nobody knew how I could not understand the ways of the world, what crap the teachers used to teach, how the schools work like prisons with discipline and punish attitude. How the loneliness of the ability to see it all made me a solitary child, and how people of my age were busy doing dumb things. They did not know that a self-reflecting child is within them searching his identity among them. Nobody was like me. Nobody had no parents, and nobody could understand my situation. Next, Class 11th, How alienated in a room which was locked by the hostel bully of mine and I could not go to school and was locked for 8 hours alone in a room with no-one to listen to my voice and help me. And numerous other instances when I was forced to face my truth, time and again. Very late in my life did I understood, the concept of "Head-on collision with the truth, and die for it or embrace it". 

There was never really a choice. There was no one for me other than my truth. The truth, naked as it was, I learnt gradually was so beautiful. So, tell me, after all this, do you really think a guy like me will not die for his truth? 

I will die for it. Either the people around me and the whole world will have to embrace it or there is no point saying it. The place where my truth is not respected, I leave that place immediately. I have left earlier as well, friends, family, my own parents and even at times myself. Class 2nd when I confessed that I was amongst the mischief creators when my friend saved me from punishment and lied to the teacher. I was the one who admitted that I have given a wrong answer at the zonal Science quiz where the stakes were so high, a tie breaker question in which the team opposite to us has blatantly cheated by manipulating the judges. I have never left my truth anytime in my life. People who know me, and for that matter, there is nobody who knows with depth, what iceberg Vibhat is, know this. 
Bottomline, either I will speak my mind, or I will keep silence. The silence that chills every spine. The silence which shouts at the duality of the world. The silence, which is heaven for me and hell for them. Every word not spoken by me; they will pay for it. Every word not said, will be a punishment not delayed. I conclude with Rabindranath Tagore. 

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Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high Where knowledge is free Where the world has not been broken up into fragments By narrow domestic walls Where words come out from the depth of truth Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way Into the dreary desert sand of dead habit Where the mind is led forward by thee Into ever-widening thought and action Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

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